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  • NO MORE Silence

    NO MORE Silence

    When we stay silent, domestic violence thrives. This October, National Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM), we are calling on our communities to break the silence. Each of us must make it our business to speak up when we see or hear something troubling and to have conversations with friends, family, colleagues, youth, and others in our lives. Whether it be in our workplaces, schools, places of worship, or other community spaces, we can support survivors and their children by raising awareness of the issue and creating environments that do not tolerate domestic violence.
    Read More
  • Purple Purse Challenge

    Purple Purse Challenge

    The RICADV is excited to be participating in the Allstate Foundation Purple Purse Challenge this October! The Purple Purse Challenge is an annual friendly fundraising competition held during Domestic Violence Awareness Month, where nonprofit organizations serving victims and survivors of domestic violence engage their supporters and communities to help raise funds. The 2017 Purple Purse Challenge starts Monday, October 2 at 12 p.m. Stay tuned for details!
    Read More
  • RI Men's Summit

    RI Men's Summit

    Rhode Island men, join us for the 4th Annual Men's Summit on November 9, an event designed for and led by men who want to prevent domestic violence in our communities. Most men are not violent, but many remain silent in the face of other men’s violence. This November, take a stand with Ten Men to help break the silence. We ask our supporters to invite the men in their lives to get involved! To learn more and to register, visit ricadv.org/tenmen.
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  • We Want Your Opinion!

    We Want Your Opinion!

    The RICADV is seeking people across Rhode Island to participate in an online survey to gauge statewide attitudes around domestic violence and shape our community outreach activities going forward. The survey takes about 15 minutes to complete. Thank you for your participation!
    Read More
  • State House Victories!

    State House Victories!

    This September, the Rhode Island General Assembly reconvened for a special session to review the bills they left unfinished in June - and we have great news! Several of the RICADV's priority bills have passed! 2017 legislative victories include disarming dangerous abusers and guaranteeing earned sick and safe days for RI employees.
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  • Latino Communities

    Latino Communities

    Oprima el botón “Read More” para acceder a nuestro sitio web en Español.

    At the RICADV, we proactively engage Latino communities in Rhode Island to raise awareness about domestic violence, the services and resources that are available in our state, and the need for all of us to get involved to end abuse. Access our website in Spanish by clicking the "Read More" button below or En Español at the top of this page.

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The Newsroom

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Latest News


FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Monday, October 2, 2017

Letter to the Editor: When we stay silent, domestic violence thrives

By Deborah DeBare, Executive Director, Rhode Island Coalition Against Domestic Violence


[Providence, RI – October 2, 2017] When we stay silent, domestic violence thrives. With 1 in 4 Rhode Islanders experiencing domestic violence in their lifetimes, and nearly 1 in 10 Rhode Island high schoolers reporting they have already experienced physical dating violence, we all know loved ones, neighbors, and friends who will be or have been impacted by abuse.

This October, National Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM), we are calling on our communities to break the silence. Each of us must make it our business to speak up when we see or hear something troubling and to have conversations with friends, family, colleagues, youth, and others in our lives.

. . .

Read More: Latest News

The adult helping relationship is the most powerful tool we have to assist children in recovering from traumatic events.

It is important for a child who has witnessed abuse to have positive relationships with trusted, caring adults, particularly with the non-abusive parent in a relationship where the parent:

  • Is emotionally available and present
  • Provides ongoing love and support
  • Listens to and talks to the child about their feelings around the abuse, even though it is difficult
  • Listens to the child recount their experiences of the abuse
  • Creates routine, stability and safety in the home 
  • Seeks help for their own needs in dealing with the abuse (e.g., counseling, support groups)

  • Communicate

  • Support

When we don’t talk with children about the abuse that is occurring, children will construct their own ways of understanding the situation.

Talk to your children. Make sure they know that:

  • Abuse is not the norm and is not okay 
  • Violence is not an acceptable way to solve problems 
  • Men do not have the right to control or abuse women 
  • People do not have the right to abuse others 
  • Everyone has a right to feel safe
  • Everyone deserves respect

When talking to children:

  • Let them know that it is safe for them to share their stories and feelings with you
  • Listen carefully to how they make sense of abuse
  • Give clear, simple explanations about violent events they may have witnessed
  • Build their self-esteem by reminding them that they are important and loved 

Support children who have witnessed domestic violence by:

  • Teaching alternatives to violence (e.g., helping children learn healthy conflict resolution skills; encouraging creative, nonviolent play and activities)
  • Nurturing your children
  • Modelling respect and nonviolent problem solving
  • Establishing rules and routines so that children know what to expect in order to relieve anxiety and reduce outbursts
  • Being patient if children act out

When a child feels… Help them…
Fear; lack of control or safety
  • Create a safety plan, such as going to a trusted neighbor’s house
  • Identify areas of their life where they can make their own plans and decisions
  • Establish rules, expectations, and daily routines
Anger at the abuser or the non-abusive parent
  • Learn how to express their anger in ways that do not harm themselves or others
Anger and love for the abuser; guilt for both feelings
  • Understand that it is okay to feel this way
  • Understand that they may love the abuser but cannot accept the abusive behavior
Loss of a parent due to separation; loss of safety
  • Develop a support system of extended family and friends outside the home
Guilt or responsibility for causing the violence or not being able to stop it
  • Understand that the violence is not their fault
  • View the problem as an issue for adults, not as something they need to "solve"

Communications Center

  • Domestic Violence Awareness Month +

    We conduct statewide public awareness campaigns during October, national Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM), as a way to break the silence and stigma around domestic violence, raise up the voices and experiences of survivors, provide information about help and resources, and educate and engage our communities.
    Read More
  • Online Guide for Journalists +

    We work with statewide and local media to increase awareness about domestic violence, the services and resources available for people impacted by abuse, and the ways the community can get involved to help. Visit the RICADV's Online Guide for Journalists for best practices in covering domestic violence.
    Read More
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2017 Purple Purse Challenge

2017 Purple Purse Challenge

The RICADV is participating in the Allstate Foundation Purple Purse Challenge this October, a friendly fundraising competition held during Domestic Violence Awareness Month. The 2017 Purple Purse Challenge starts Monday, October 2 at 12 p.m. Stay tuned for details!

Spotlight

  • Be Tech Safe
  • News & Events
  • AmazonSmile

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Your abuser may monitor your Internet use and may be able to view your computer activity.

To immediately leave our site and redirect to a different site, click on the box to the bottom-right of our website or hit the ESC (Escape) key on the upper-left of your keyboard.

If you feel that your computer is not secure, use a computer in another location that your abuser cannot access.

For more information and tips for staying safe online and on your devices, click "Read More" to visit the Privacy & Technology section of our website.

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Looking to get involved in the movement to end domestic violence?

Sign up to join our mailing list, and receive mail and emails from the RICADV!

Visit our Calendar of Events to find local and online events.

AmazonSmile-webWhat is AmazonSmile?

AmazonSmile is a simple and automatic way for you to support the RICADV every time you shop, at no cost to you. When you shop at http://smile.amazon.com, you'll find the exact same low prices, vast selection and convenient shopping experience as Amazon.com, with the added bonus that Amazon will donate a portion of the purchase price to the RICADV.

On your first visit to AmazonSmile, you need to select a charitable organization to receive donations from eligible purchases before you begin shopping. Choose the RI Coalition Against Domestic Violence to support us. Amazon will remember your selection, and then every eligible purchase you make on AmazonSmile will result in a donation.

About the RICADV

The Rhode Island Coalition Against Domestic Violence (RICADV) is an organization dedicated to ending domestic violence. Formed in 1979, the organization provides support to its member agencies, strives to create justice for victims, and provides leadership on the issue of domestic violence in Rhode Island.

Member Agencies

The RICADV's network of member agencies provide comprehensive services to victims, including emergency shelter, support groups, counseling, and assistance with the legal system. For more information about these organizations and services, call the statewide Helpline at 800-494-8100 or click here.

Contact

422 Post Road, Suite 102
Warwick, RI 02888-1539

T (401) 467-9940
F (401) 467-9943