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Ten Men is made up of Rhode Island men from diverse walks of life who have a common vision — a world without domestic violence.

Most men are not violent in their relationships. But even one man is one too many. That is why Ten Men came together — to reach everyday men who are not sure how to help and therefore remain silent in the face of other men's violence.

Ten Men is the first statewide effort consisting of pioneering male leaders who have stepped forward and are committed to breaking that silence.

For more information or to join them, contact tenmen@ricadv.org.

Ten Men 2014 – Meet the Men


2014 Ten Men Members:

 

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Reverend Don Anderson was raised in Cranston, Rhode Island and is an Executive Minister at the Rhode Island State Council of Churches.

 

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Rilwan Feyisitan is the Director of Program Operations at Community Action Partnership of Providence. He graduated from Roger Williams University in 1999 and has since been a prominent advocate for community and youth health.

"I've literally held men as they've broken down in tears reflecting on their role as abusers. They see their sons and grandsons going down the same path they set for them as their role model. I now stand shoulder to shoulder with some of them in answering the call to be more than just well-intentioned men. The Ten Men project allows many of us to give a face and voice to the male response needed to end domestic violence. My hope is that men throughout my state will stand with me to stop intimate partner violence and develop healthy, positive, loving relationships." – Rilwan Feyisitan

 

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Edgar Moya is an Account Executive at Telemundo Providence. He graduated from the InterAmerican University of Puerto Rico with a Bachelor's Degree in Accounting in 1999 and also received a Bachelor's Degree in Accounting from CCRI. Edgar is fluent in Spanish.

"I strongly believe that it is possible to break the cycle of domestic violence if everybody gets involved, including the men in our community." – Edgar Moya

 

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W. Scott Walker, MD, FACOG is an obstetrician and gynecologist at Ob-Gyn Associates. He graduated from Harvard University and received his medical degree from the University of Texas Southwestern Medical School at Dallas. Scott is fluent in Spanish.

 

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John Youte is the former Director of Outreach, Admissions and Student Services at Year Up Rhode Island and has over 15 years of experience in career/social services. John is fluent in Haitian-Creole.

"As a father of a six-year-old daughter, I am here to stand beside her to ensure that she will not live in a culture where violence is the norm. We as men must become agents of change to spread the message to men in our state. This cause needs all of our efforts and advocacy to change mindsets of a culture that limits us and promotes violence against those we love dearly." – John Youte

 

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Rafael Zapata is the Associate Vice President and Chief Diversity Officer at the Office of Institutional Diversity at Providence College. He is fluent in Spanish and has been involved in diversity and cultural work at both Swarthmore College and Providence College since 2002.

 

Not Pictured:

Travis Escobar is the Scholarships and Special Grants Administrator at the Rhode Island Foundation. He attended Rhode Island College and has been involved in non-profit work since 2012 through previous positions with both The Providence Plan and Inspiring Minds.

Jay Gotra is the CEO of Alliance Security. He lives in Providence, RI. Jay graduated from UMass Dartmouth and was previously CEO of VMS Alarms.

Reverend Olusegun Martins is a pastor at Salem Gospel Mission International in Providence. He received his Doctor of Ministry degree in Marriage and Family Therapy/Counseling at Gordon Conwell Theological Seminary in 2014. He has also earned a Bachelor's of Theology, a Master's of Arts in Theology, and a Master's of Religion.

Ten Men 2014 – The Work

These Rhode Island men are leading the effort to end domestic violence in our communities.

Here's how:

 

  • PSA's

  • Ten Men Summit

  • National Recognition

In 2014, Ten Men created this broadcast public service announcement (PSA) to help raise awareness about their work.

The PSA aired on local television networks throughout the month of June and featured Ten Men members addressing domestic violence in their workplaces.

TENMEN PSA THUMB VID 

Ten Men also created radio PSAs in both English and Spanish that aired throughout the month of June.

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Ten Men 2014

 

Last September, Ten Men members asked Rhode Island men to take a stand with them against domestic violence at the first annual Ten Men Summit.

The free statewide event included small group discussions, facilitated by current Ten Men members, about the challenges and opportunities that exist for men when working to create a world without violence.

Men from across Rhode Island came together for the Summit to share their perspectives and expertise while learning about how they can help prevent domestic violence and build a peaceful future.

Participants shared the following feedback:

"I learned how to more effectively bring up important topics and bring a conversation deeper when hanging with my friends. I learned that us as men do or say things that our friends want to hear versus stepping up and doing the right thing."

"[I learned] the importance of being a true example of a man that is not stuck in a box of false values, pride, and false expectations. The importance of an intentional collaboration to stand up against domestic violence and the false concept of how men must view and treat women."

"The Ten Men Summit really gets you thinking. It encourages me to step out and be more of an example."

 

Check back soon for information on the 2015 Ten Men Summit!

 

Ten Men received national recognition in 2014 from NOMORE.org for its innovative public awareness campaign.

First, Ten Men was spotlighted in the June issue of the national NO MORE newsletter.

Then in July, NOMORE.org featured Ten Men on its blog in the post, "Ten Men Can Make a Difference: Meet the Men Who are Redefining Manhood."

 

Ten Men Redefining Manhood

Ten Men 2013

Ten Men made its public debut in 2013 with a June public awareness campaign.

Ten Men members were committed to educating the community on the importance of male engagement in the work to end domestic violence — by talking directly to other men about domestic violence and healthy relationships and by giving them the support and tools they need to, in turn, talk to the men and boys in their lives.

Their television and radio PSAs ran throughout June, encouraging Rhode Island men to start conversations with other men and to lead by example with regard to treating women with respect, having healthy relationships, being a role model for youth, and understanding the impact of the language we use. 

Very few spaces exist for men to engage in dialogue with other men about domestic violence and gender norms. Ten Men works to break the silence and challenge abusive behavior. By speaking out against domestic violence, Ten Men members send the message that this behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated, which creates accountability among other men in the community.

Watch the 2013 Ten Men broadcast PSA here.

Ten Things Men Can Do

Ten Things Men Can Do to Prevent Violence Against Women

  1. Approach violence against women as an issue that involves men of all ages and socioeconomic, racial and ethnic backgrounds. View men not as violent perpetrators but as empowered bystanders who can confront abusive peers.
  2. If a friend, relative, classmate, or teammate is abusing his female partner, or is disrespectful or abusive toward girls and women in general, don't look the other way. If you feel comfortable doing so, try talking to him about it. Urge him to seek help. Consult a friend, parent, teacher or counselor for help. Don't remain silent.
  3. Have the courage to look inward. Question your own attitudes. Don't be defensive when something you do or say ends up hurting someone else. Try hard to understand how your own attitudes and actions might perpetuate sexism and violence; then work toward changing them.
  4. If you suspect that a woman close to you is being abused, ask if you can help.
  5. If you are emotionally, psychologically, physically, or sexually abusive to women, or have been in the past, seek professional help.
  6. Be an ally to women who are working to end gender-based violence. Support the work of college and community women's centers. Attend related events. Help raise funds for victim services.
  7. Recognize and speak out against homophobia and gay-bashing. Discrimination and violence against lesbians and gays are wrong, and this abuse has direct links to sexism and, therefore, violence against women.
  8. Attend programs, take courses, watch films, and read articles and books about multicultural masculinities, gender inequality, and the root causes of gender violence. Educate yourself and others about how larger social forces affect the conflicts between individual men and women.
  9. Don't fund sexism. Refuse to purchase any magazine, rent any video, subscribe to any website, or buy any music that portrays girls or women in a sexually degrading or abusive manner. Protest sexism in the media.
  10. Mentor and teach young boys about how to be men in ways that don't involve degrading or abusing girls and women. Volunteer to work with gender violence prevention programs, including anti-sexist men's programs. Lead by example.

(Adapted from a resource by Jackson Katz, one of America's leading anti-sexist male activists and co-founder of the Mentors In Violence Prevention (MVP) program. View a PDF of the original resource in English or in Spanish.)